Saturday, November 3, 2007

Round One: Christmas vs. Thanksgiving

Now that Halloween is over its time to smash your pumpkins and bring out your dusty Nativity set and frosted pinecones. Yes, that's right, we're going to skip over Thanksgiving and go straight to the greedy gift giving holiday! BLAH. Its November 3rd and NOT a God, I mean good, time to listen to Christmas music. Unfortunately, we are forced to listen to these merry melodies if we go anywhere that sells any sort of merchandise that can pass as a gift. This entry is strictly for those of you who wish to listen to Christmas music a month and a half in advance. Since I am such a caring person and I am concerned for your health this holiday season I have compiled a list of Christmas tunes that will not rupture your ear drums.

Note: Girlfriend is not responsible for any rupturing of ear drums, bleeding of the ears, blood stained clothing, split, cracked, loose or missing ears or other damages incurred while listening to Christmas music.

1. Its a Cool Cool Christmas -Various Artist

This album has some cool cool performers including Grandaddy, Belle And Sebastian, The Flaming Lips, Calexico and Low.

2. Christmas - Low

If you couldn't get enough of Low from the previous album then here is an album piled high with Low. Classic songs like "Silent Night" and "Little Drummer Boy" are cooked up with a hint of Low.

3. Ah the good stuff! If you've ever wanted to know what traveling back in time was like then you might enjoy the following albums.
Maybe This is Christmas - Various Artists

2002's hit artists come together to make a Christmas album full of warm fuzzy music to get you through those cold lonely nights of winter. Featured artists it comes...Phantom Planet, Barenaked Ladies w/ Sarah McLachlan, Jack Johnson, Vanessa Carlton and Jimmy Eat World. Oh yeah, Bright Eyes is on the album too but I didn't want to defame him. Poor Bright Eyes, what was he thinking?
Maybe This is Christmas Too - Various Artists

If you haven't had enough Christmas cheer from your beloved pop stars here is another compilation, only this time its 2003. They have now tried a little harder to find some talent with the fame and included artists like The Flaming Lips, Rilo Kiley, and Rufus Wainwright. Other performers include Badly Drawn Boy (who?), Avril Lavigne, Sixpence None the Richer (I remember these guys, ha.), and....wait for it....Barenaked Ladies!

Maybe This is Christmas Tree - Various Artists

And yet another clever Christmas album circa 2004. This time around they went all out to get the best artists available like Lisa Loeb and Jars of Clay. Oh 2004, I don't miss you. This album also features (slightly better) artists Pedro the Lion, Death Cab for Cutie and Polyphonic Spree.
**I think they got the idea that no one really wants to hear Avril Lavigne or Jars of Clay belt out Christmas songs since there isn't a Maybe This is Christmas FOR me? or Maybe This is Christmas FOR the Small Children Who Don't Know Any Better? or some crap like that. Thank goodness.

4. Songs for Christmas - Sufjan Stevens

This five disc collection features classic holiday tunes ranging from "O Holy Night" to "Angels We Have Heard on High." The disc set also rocks out some contemporary hits like "Come On Lets Boogey to the Elf Dance!," Jingle Bells," and "Get Behind Me, Santa!" (The last one sounds a little dirty to me... parental discretion is advised.)

5. The Edge of Christmas - Various Artists

This album really puts the "edge" into the Christmas season with songs from Queen, Pat Benatar, The Ramones and a duo featuring David Bowie and Bing Crosby.

6. Merry Mixmas--Christmas Classics Remixed - Various Artists
With performers like Bing Crosby, Ella Fitzgerald, Dean Martin and Eartha Kitt this album is sure to make your Christmas merry!

7. Verve Presents: Very Best of Christmas Jazz - Various Artists
Ella Fitzgerald, John Coltrane, Louis Armstrong, Count Basie, Joe Williams, Kenny Burrell and more are featured on this jazzy album perfect for those more sophisticated parties.

8. Martinis & Mistletoe: Cool Tunes for Your Christmas Cocktail Party - Various Artists

The mostly instrumental music on the album is performed by former band members of The Osmonds, Boz Skaggs, Eddie Money, The Righteous Brothers and more. They call themselves The Yuletide Lounge Band and give a jazzy twist to some classic Christmas music.

9. Swingin' Christmas Party - Various Artists

For all of you swingers out there here is a Christmas album for you! Straying away from the Christian hymns (because we all know "swingers" don't go to church) this album consists of an array of danceable tunes like "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," "Winter Wonderland," and "All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth."

Here are a few more additions that MUST be on this list:

How The Grinch Stole Christmas - Original TV Soundtrack

A Charlie Brown Christmas - The Original Sound Track Of The CBS Television Special

Before I leave you to ponder over which album to listen to first I will leave you to ponder this...
What ever happened to celebrating Turkey Day, huh?
I am thankful for my health, loved ones and great music. What are you thankful for?


SonicRyan said...

Bright Eyes has an X-Mas album, though I've never heard it. Also, I'm a little surprised you forgot the seminal classic A Charlie Brown Christmas: The Original Sound Track Recording Of The CBS Television Special. When I worked at the corporate mall-chain CD store, this was my saving grace during the holidays. Seriously, I mean that. It sure beat the hell out of the Destiny's Child Christmas album anyway...

Femme Fatale said...

"Badly Drawn Boy (who?)".... get ye some The Hour of the Bewilderbeast, my love!!